Lobbyist have a taste for bad apples

Senator Ted Stevens and those of his ilk
Figure that the public we’ll bilk.
To raise money they need an assist.
So why not get it from a lobbyist?

Lobbyist only get access. (they’ve got to be kidding)
Because some congressmen do the lobbyists’ bidding.
Here is a ploy they have honed to perfection
“Help us out and we’ll fund your reelection.”

Those congressmen are good at ossification
With fancy foot work they are screwing the nation.
They skirt around the law, but this fits
They are sophisticated hypocrites

Who loves ya, baby?

Who is it that always remembers me?
It's often very hard to see.
My mom, it is she, perhaps
But she often has a memory lapse.
No card was received on the fifth of May
Which the family knows as my birthday .
This year my brother was working hard
And he forgot my Christmas card.
For greeting cards, who can I depend
For a commitment that will never end?
There is only one, he's heaven sent
My ever faithful insurance agent .

A New Year’s perennial

Make a resolution for losing weight
But beware of nutritional Diet-Gate.
Here's the secret of Jenny Craig
It stores your tush in a hollow leg.
Or restrict yourself to just grapefruit
Bitter taste? Try cabbage soup.
If cabbage then makes you fart
Then NutriSystem you can start.
The Atkins diet? But stop and think.
In three days your breath will stink
If Weight Watchers is then your fate
But they can also watch you gaining weight
Any old diet can make you thin
If you can muster the discipline.

Hail to the chief ... of what?

The count is in, the voting done
The press has told us who has won
But what in Dickens is the fuss?
It doesn't affect the rest of us.
Their victories are yet unearned
And as far as I'm concerned
Either Huckabee or ObamaCan be president of Iowa

Amen

Mit Romney was ahead til now
But someone snuck ahead some how
It’s Huckabee
The wannabe
Claiming that, “I’m holier than thou.”

And it’s getting thinner

There's a line between lies and spin
Which Bush makes so very thin.
His fabrications
And truth violations
Account for the terrible fix we're in.

The president of Iran is delusional.
For heads of state that's not unusual
There's a crisis ahead.
We need a good head.
But with our guy I'm not very comfortable.